0500 ~ 0700 (Hours of Morning Horniness)

If I got fined for every morning I had lewd thoughts, I'd have been bankrupt by now. If I got caught for having lewd thoughts of a certain someone every morning, I'd have been jailed for imaginary sexual harassment. Some things are hard to change.

0700 ~ 0800 (Hour of Morning Tardiness)

Damn the MRT. Damn the bus. Damn the person at the pass office. Damn the RP. Damn the grass for growing so long. Damn this walk is just too long.

0800 ~ 1700 (Hours of Skill Enhancement and Promise)

Mundane. Utter waste of time. Has been honing my skills at chinese chess, english chess, checkers, carom and fussball. I'm rather powerful now. And i'm rather.. bored.

1700 ~ 1800 (Hour of Return to Promised Land)

Damn this train for terminating at Ang Mo Kio. Can't you survive one more stop.

[Meanwhile...]

Sweet seduction. Long sleeved white top. Bares navel and entire torso. Revealing a dark red strap. Figleaves. Nice.

Just got home and bathed.. Probably gonna run later. Received the eff word from alicia already. Ah, joys.

"No. Nonverbal behavior, which is often emotionally based and automatic and uncontrollable, can be much more telling than controlled responses, like what you say. Maybe she felt insecure about all her approach behavior, since you didn't kiss her or otherwise clearly indicate your interest."



This is how a scientist calls you a pussy.

haha.. you delete your draft for what? :P

"He sat by the stubble at the corner of the jetty puffing away, eyes fixated upon the myriad of lights across the straits. As he drew breath and stomped upon the last of the glowing ashes, he exhaled his final piece of sorrow and allowed the salty sea breeze to carry it away into the scarlet sky."

I guess i'm just letting go.. bit by bit.. a little at a time..

you're back to your unreasonable self already! how do you expect me to get over you when i see those pictures? well i put them up anyway, in private friendster, just in case i format the comp or something. my friend told me not to.. saying how i could ever forget about you with those photos popping up, but i never want to.. never will anyway.

nothing much left to say.. except.. take care. and i demand my present.

"bu neng yong you de gan qing, jiu bu yao qiang qiu le. ye xu, zhe duan lian qing zai ji yi zhong hui gen mei."

can't get to sleep..it's only 3.25am, seems too early..was talking to cha till her cordless went flat. would've called you, but you've gotta wake up early like...2 hrs later. well, that ain't the top most in consideration..but what to say..bad enough that i was looking at past smses and teared. no i didn't cry..think i'm too tired to cry..got the noone to turn to feeling. then again...didn't i start out like that? on my own? though i know now i have pple who care and love me..who are not my family members. a fren dedicated a song to me..at the beginning, the anastacia one. perhaps the lyrics dun suit. but the title is how i'm feeling. i don't really know what i'm saying..just wanna keep typing...as if typing brings every bit of energy i have left out..and leave me drained enough to sleep. this is probably a chore to look at. but there's no paragraphing to be done, it's all messy and a bunch. i guess for now i dun even want to think abt us. i'm so tired...but yet, i can't get to sleep. shitty position to be in. don't know what to do. hope i slp better when i'm there...this insomnia is bad for me..when i'm there, i gotta be up at like 8ish 9. if i slp at 4. i'm screwed. =.= there's nothing to read, nothing to watch..and nothing to do...many times, i daydream myself to sleep. for some reason...it's not working now..the pictures that used to flow so easily into my mind, refuses to appear. looks like i'm not destined to sleep tonight. and yes, could you please drink plenty of water? cha and i suffered from dehydration. =.= quite dumb. =.= um. what else, i've no idea. guess i'm done ranting.. for now..i'll...i've no idea what to do next. zzz. suxxor. but nvm. i'll probably go turn on my nano..and pray for the best. aka. sleep. i hope...you sleep sweet. candy dreams...and takkaire.

-Me

it probably was a good decision.. seeing we have our own schedule to follow in life. i already expected it to come much sooner, seeing i was the one to lose interest first then found it again, but i never told you. there was so much i never told you now that i come to think about it but all that don't matter now i suppose.

maybe what alicia said was true, that i was a loser that took so long to woo you. but i never regretted putting in so much effort for you because it means so much to me now. and she said i was docile, although i hate that word when it's used to describe me. you probably lost interest in someone so uninteresting. and perhaps.. it's just meant to be.. looking at the broken necklace you asked me to take back.

but i never regretted once. not before, not now and never will.

contemplated on asking you to come back so many times. yet i couldn't do that because i know somewhere down the road, this will pop up again. and our relationship has been changed forever now and it'll never truly go back to what it was. don't even know what i'm talking about now, really.

and yes, i do remember much more than you do. although i rather it be in the deep recesses of my heart, for it just feels so much sweeter when we talk about it 10 years down the road. speaking of which, i wasn't kidding about that promise when we become 30-year-old bachelor and spinster. since that's just a dream come true for me.

and it's just so much harder to get over you when i see the ring and necklace every morning. and now the bracelet too! you're such a bitch, i agree. so.. i locked it all up in a chest that you never saw, snuck beneath my bed. so sorry about your cap because you might pick up moby's stench, so remember to wash it real hard.

oh yes, if you have another heartbreak ever, my shoulder will be at your service. besides if you want to beat some guy up, i could call my malay friends in gang, with tattoo and parang and the lot.

i cannot think of anybody that knows me better but i'll try not to bug you already since we both have a life to live. but i'll take you up on that offer and i'm sure you will too. i guess now, from walking beside you, i've moved back to support you from behind if you ever fall. don't forget me though, like i was a mere shadow. although i disagree with you. i do have the confidence that i'll love you forever but i can never prove it now. but i don't believe love will only end up hurting.. because after all this pain has subsided, i'll probably feel fortunate for the times we had together as a couple.

and i appreciate "sapphie", it seriously sounds and looks nicer.

so.. now let's move on.

~shiong